I visited Fujiyama today. That is “Mount Fuji” for the Japanese-illiterate. He was looking snazzy and majestic as any proper mountain should, at least when he was not hiding behind the veil of cloud covers. With my cameraphone in my right hand and a bag of sour Starbursts in my left, I happily and excitedly boarded the vehicle that shall whisk me away to Mount Fuji and its snow-capped peaks. With an expectant smile, I pressed my face against the clear glass window of the vehicle and suddenly realized that it is far too early to be up. It was only 7:30 am! Who the fuck wakes up at that time? On a holiday! I closed my eyes and promptly went to sleep.